10 tiny things I hate:

1. It really bugs me when I see wedding photos of a couple raising their clasped hands together like they've just won a race. You haven't won anything. You've lost. You've lost a small fortune, your single friends, if you're female, your last name and once the baby comes, your freedom.


2. People who hashtag too much. Ingredients to a dish does not a hashtag maketh, bitch. 

3. This one guy-at-the-gym's workout face. He looks like a Steve Tyler/Joker mashup. Literally half the bottom of his face is just mouth, which he constantly pulls into this face (mid rep):



4. The term "meat flaps".

5. Rapists.

6. People who can't seem to locate their indicators let alone use them. However, this ain't nothing compared to my disdain of female drivers who indicate one way and turn the other.

7. How everyone in Cape Town thinks they're a model. It's like intelligence just leaks out of the city, replaced with vapid selfies of very average looking individuals. Yawn.

8. Attention-seeking children. They look around (uh, quite obviously although they pretend not to) then get loud and fake laugh so hard to try and grab as much attention as they can because they're just so fucking funny. I wish I could just walk up to them and punch them in the back of the head.

9. People who don't answer the phone with the name of the place you're calling, so you never feel 100% confident you've dialed the right number. And then you have to do that awkward, "Uh is this Bathroom Bizzare?" thing to which the person on the other end of the phone does that "big sigh" thing like you're the asshole for asking.

10. People who don't say thank you when you let them go first, and or, in front of you. Don't worry, Karma's coming and hopefully, it'll be in the form of cancer, dick.