So, the Dalai Lama, possibly the coolest person I know, said “A true hero is one who conquers their own anger and hate”. Props (think that means like, big up/word/high five – I'm not fluent in gangster)...
Now, the power in this statement comes from the realisation that:
- Anger and hate are our own creations, that is to say, they come from within us. Others can act as catalysts for anger and hate, but no one can make you feel anything-only you can (wow)
- If it’s all in our head, does it really exist, is it tangible?
- And if there’s no tangibility to it and it’s not coming from an external source, it’s coming from within in the form of a feeling. Then, as all feelings go “there’s birth and death”, “beginning and end” (although goddamned sometimes all you want to do his hit a motha-effer upside his motha-effing face)
- I don’t know why I’ve numbered these points
Here’s
an example. You’re in traffic, someone cuts you off. You react “Hey, fuck you,
you cunt!” The cunt drives off completely unfazed, you’re left feeling angry.
He carries on with his cunt life, unscathed
and you’re angry because another great injustice has prevailed. So what’s the
point? How has it affected you, your life, your being? It hasn’t. In reality,
but your head has different ideas and that’s where we veer off the path (the
metaphoric path of motha-effing happiness yo).
We relive these events which we feel are unjust, unfair. We recreate it as a reality in our minds. The more we think about it, the more justified we feel in our anger or hate. The more justification we have, the more right we think we are and the harder forgiveness is. The harder forgiveness is the more resentment we harbour and we all know what resentment does to us. It fucks us up.
So how do we change this? It seems impossible
to overcome right? Hell, no bitch, it’s actually pretty simple, it just takes
practise. Here’s what you do:
Pretend anger and hate are your imaginary
friends. Only these guys are like bad guy imaginary friends - and they hate you
(duh). So see them as separate mind-made identities, they are not you (because
that would mean that you have like multiple personality disorder). Now, if
they’re not you, then you are not
angry nor are you hateful! You do, however, have to interact with these guys. And
by interaction I mean: they tend to show up and they’re hard to ignore. So
don’t, instead see them for what they are and you can do that by simply
watching them. Watch them come, watch what affect they have on you, on your
mood, on your thinking. Observe how they try to make you reactive to situations
as opposed to responsive. Just watch and remember that they’re separate
identities, they are not your reality, not you, unless you choose them to be.
Once you realise that you have the choice, you’re empowered and anger and hate
become nothing more than a fleeting set of emotions you either embrace and
react to or observe and create a sort of inner placidity.
And the next time something bad happens you
can be like “fuck it” and smile.
