Blondes vs. Brunettes

In the right corner, weighing in with a C cup and a bubbly attitude, is the ever popular Blonde!

And in the left corner, weighing with a cardigan and a fair amount of smarts, is the not-as-popular Brunette.

But why the divide? Why has it has gotten to the point where brunettes regard blondes as ditsy flirts incapable of intellectual conversation and in return, blondes think brunettes are just jealous. Do we really think like this or are we just being catty?

I suppose if we really get down to the nitty-gritty, what are we fighting for? Attention. The admiration of the opposite sex. We want to be the girl on the front cover of FHM. We want to be desired. We all want exactly the same thing. We want guys to want us and we want girls to want to be like us. And the only way for girls to want to be like us, is if guys want to get with us-do you see how it goes around in circles. And when asked, 8 out of 10 men prefer blondes. 8 out of 10 men also prefer big breasts. So if you're anything like me and you have neither blonde hair nor breasts - really an A cup doesn't count! Where does that leave you? Well it leaves you having to deal with your boyfriend getting whiplash when a blonde walks past (even whilst driving which poses a danger to your safety-GOD) or ignoring you when there's a blonde at your table. And yes this makes me jealous. How would you feel, honestly? And if you're a guy and you can't get this, think about how you feel about a bunch of girls fussing around the 'guy with the beamer' or 'the band member'. It's one in the same my friend.

Now it's not just me who finds herself in these situations. 8 out of 10 brunettes have the same problems. So what's the deal? Since when has having brown hair made you less desirable and why, given the absurdity of the topic, do we really give a f***? When asked this question, the most common answers I've received by people with penises are:

1. Blondes are hot

2. Blonde hair makes any chick hot

3. Blondes are way more fun

4. Blondes are easy

5. Blondes are like arm candy

6. Brown hair is boring

7. Brunettes think they are too smart

8. Brunettes are too serious

9. Brunettes aren't easy enough

10. Brunettes are feminists (apparently having brown hair instantly makes you too opinionated and therefore a feminist. It seems some of our more famous feminists are, in fact, brunette: Susan B Anthony, Mary Wollstonecraft and the writer of The Feminine Mystique-Betty Friedan. So I guess that statement isn't too far fetched, but still.)

But if brunettes are so smart why don't we see this happening, and rise above it? Blondes are forgiven, besides they have 8 out of 10 guys already vying for their attention (bitch pleas).

I think the thing we have to ask ourselves, is this: Why settle with one of the 8 out of 10 guys who prefer blondes when you could be with one of the 2, who'll like you for you, brown hair and all. Why put yourself in situations where you walk away (a) not being able to say anything for fear of the "You're just jealous!" rebuke, and (b) made to feel insignificant over something as superficial as hair colour. Why date the guy who wants Cameron Diaz when you're Anne Hathaway.

I guess at the end of the day if you spend your time trying to be something you're not. Or if you're pressured to be someone you're not. The problem isn't you. It's someone else. Because you're prefect just the way you are, so fuck'em...

xoxox