POP IT

What do you get when pop art meets champagne?

You get three little letters, the same three little letters that first appeared when God said "Let there be light". The same letters which popped up to say how-do-you-do when you pulled your first authentic O-face, and yes, the same three little letters which were born at the exact same time you miraculously managed to push a baby out of your vulva... Wow. And wow indeed.

I'd like to introduce Dom P's tribute to Andy W (the W is for Warhol and not Wow, but you'd be forgiven...) A heavenly bubbly that knows how to sparkle mixed with an art eccentric renowned for turning heads (yes, heavenly, Dom P was a Benedictine monk, so it's kinda like holy water, expensive holy water, but holy water none the less). How expensive you ask? I mean can you really put a price on art and champagne?! Yes you can, it'll set you back about R1499-available at any half decent bottle store, which isn't bad, it's only about a months rent if your renting a room in some hole in Cape Town and if you are you wouldn't buy it anyway, so whatever ; )

"Come quickly I'm tasting the stars" - Dom P

When Life Hands You Limes...Make Frozen Mojitos!

Ok life doesn't always throw you lemons, sometimes it throws you limes, which is pretty f*ing kiff because I can never seem to find any at the shops...

It's time to get your dranky drank on (Viva Craig) we're making Frozen Mojitos!

Ingredients:

1. ½ cup sugar syrup-In a saucepan, on a heat source, like a stove, dissolve 1 cup sugar in 1 cup water, whilst standing on one leg & stirring occasionally. Bring it brought to the boil until it has reduced by about a 1/3, into, duh, a syrup. Allow to cool and voila.
2. Ice
3. Limes-squeezed 1 per person
4. About a handful of mint leaves
5. 1 tot rum per person
6. lastly, some soda to top up with

The Mojito Method:

Now the trick with this recipe is that you just 'wing' it. Go by taste.

1. Place the sugar syrup, ice, lime juice and mint into your blender.
2. Blend until it resembles some sort slushy ice. If you don't have a blender, oh shame you must neva!
3. Put a good dollop of Mojito slush into your glass and then some in your friend's glass and then some more into your glass.
4. Add a shot or two of white rum, the good stuff Havana White & a splash of soda water to top up.
5. Salud!

P.S. What do you call a non-alcoholic Mojito? A Nojito. And I am not even joking.

Blondes vs. Brunettes

In the right corner, weighing in with a C cup and a bubbly attitude, is the ever popular Blonde!

And in the left corner, weighing with a cardigan and a fair amount of smarts, is the not-as-popular Brunette.

But why the divide? Why has it has gotten to the point where brunettes regard blondes as ditsy flirts incapable of intellectual conversation and in return, blondes think brunettes are just jealous. Do we really think like this or are we just being catty?

I suppose if we really get down to the nitty-gritty, what are we fighting for? Attention. The admiration of the opposite sex. We want to be the girl on the front cover of FHM. We want to be desired. We all want exactly the same thing. We want guys to want us and we want girls to want to be like us. And the only way for girls to want to be like us, is if guys want to get with us-do you see how it goes around in circles. And when asked, 8 out of 10 men prefer blondes. 8 out of 10 men also prefer big breasts. So if you're anything like me and you have neither blonde hair nor breasts - really an A cup doesn't count! Where does that leave you? Well it leaves you having to deal with your boyfriend getting whiplash when a blonde walks past (even whilst driving which poses a danger to your safety-GOD) or ignoring you when there's a blonde at your table. And yes this makes me jealous. How would you feel, honestly? And if you're a guy and you can't get this, think about how you feel about a bunch of girls fussing around the 'guy with the beamer' or 'the band member'. It's one in the same my friend.

Now it's not just me who finds herself in these situations. 8 out of 10 brunettes have the same problems. So what's the deal? Since when has having brown hair made you less desirable and why, given the absurdity of the topic, do we really give a f***? When asked this question, the most common answers I've received by people with penises are:

1. Blondes are hot

2. Blonde hair makes any chick hot

3. Blondes are way more fun

4. Blondes are easy

5. Blondes are like arm candy

6. Brown hair is boring

7. Brunettes think they are too smart

8. Brunettes are too serious

9. Brunettes aren't easy enough

10. Brunettes are feminists (apparently having brown hair instantly makes you too opinionated and therefore a feminist. It seems some of our more famous feminists are, in fact, brunette: Susan B Anthony, Mary Wollstonecraft and the writer of The Feminine Mystique-Betty Friedan. So I guess that statement isn't too far fetched, but still.)

But if brunettes are so smart why don't we see this happening, and rise above it? Blondes are forgiven, besides they have 8 out of 10 guys already vying for their attention (bitch pleas).

I think the thing we have to ask ourselves, is this: Why settle with one of the 8 out of 10 guys who prefer blondes when you could be with one of the 2, who'll like you for you, brown hair and all. Why put yourself in situations where you walk away (a) not being able to say anything for fear of the "You're just jealous!" rebuke, and (b) made to feel insignificant over something as superficial as hair colour. Why date the guy who wants Cameron Diaz when you're Anne Hathaway.

I guess at the end of the day if you spend your time trying to be something you're not. Or if you're pressured to be someone you're not. The problem isn't you. It's someone else. Because you're prefect just the way you are, so fuck'em...

xoxox

Toothpaste for Dinner. Nataliedee. Superpoop

I'm afraid that now you will never be the same again (in a very good way) http://www.nataliedee.com/

Puppy luff

I have a little dachshund

His name is Ju Ju Bean

He's short

And black

Without an inch of fat

And he's got the longest nose I've ever seen.

I love Dachshunds and so did Picasso and Andy Warhol (and a whole bunch of other rather cool peeps, so should you not be a fan of the "Black and Tan", then your uncool by implication). Back to the blog: Picasso and Mr Warhol were so down with the brown, they created artworks in their honor. Picasso of his Daxie Lump and Andy of his sausage Maurice (look up). The Dachshund phenomena can be explained in one very simple sentence: "Once you go Daxi - it's shoshaloza in your taxi"... Not only are they your bessie mates 4 life but, providing they're not weirdly overweight (no one likes a fat Richard) they have the swankiest shape to them. What's more, is they look doubly good printed on textiles...

Word.

Woof.

Eat. Pray... Sleep

Let me start off (quickly) by stating: I am not knocking the personal accomplishments of the famed lady writer. Not at all! I am not one to judge someone's life-especially on their path to seek out balance and spiritual enlightenment. Quite the contrary, high five for pursuing such a noble cause. I do, however, tend to judge a book (admittedly at times even by it's cover). I heard about this book from a girlfriend (who the hell else), um well about the movie and being slightly book obsessed I knew it was based on a book. Now having just finished a book written by Aravind Adiga 'Between the Assassinations' (super deep, tragic, drama deluxe, deliciously well written, at times poetic, that's what one gets from reading a Man Booker Prize winner), I was itching to get something light hearted and inspirational into my system. I found Eat. Pray. Love at a second hand bookstore in good nick. It was in such good condition it actually looked like someone never got past the few first pages... Which, if you read a lot, you'd recognize this as a sign that the book was non troppo buona (not good)!

I am on page 100 and it's like wadding through narcissistic molasses. Thank god there's a bloody movie. And perfume and scented candles and cosmetics...

I think it's imperative to add here that although something is an international best seller-it does not and never will translate into a good read. It's written for the masses and it's proven that the masses can't read, look at the merde they print in tabloids, Jesus, Mary and buckskin clad Joseph.

But what would I know, I'm just a writer of a silly little blog.

Sadly, this sums it up...

Big up for cashing in on the bigtime Liz, nice-nice. Oh and P.S. the movie was equally as weak, like trying to eat watery cabbage soup. Sick. This one's straight to Kindle (ooh what a diss).

Framed.

Bonjour me petit pal! So I'm sitting here eating a salad (like you care), watching American Idols (oh god) and feeling mildly bored, when 'light bulb' I had an idea. Now because I spend way too much time and way too much money buying decor mags, I, luckily, am imbued with way too many ideas, one of which, is a chalkboard frame (or la charpente). I'm going to lay it on you straight here: Chalkboards aren't just neat, they're 100% awesome and you can make one out of anything. Use your pip (or la tête). Just take a trip down to your local paint/hardware store and you can pick up either a spray on chalkboard or you could use a simple, matt black paint and voila the sky (or the walls) are the limit.

Anyway, so, back to the chalkboard frame, this sweet little puppy will cost less than 100 bucks-depending on the frame of course. Altogether now... "Hmm." Think about this: If you commander one of your Gran's old fogie frames, ditch the print/photo and replace it with one of your chalky Chagall's, not only do you effectively save money, but also the environment-not too mention all the good you'll be doing your fellow comrades in ridding the world of yet another one of Ouma se foties. Now if you have an Ouma you'd know that these kitsch little pictures put Bananas in Pajamas, the doily in the uh Doilies and the knit in Tea Cosies, ag siss. Moving along. This is called being economically smart and eco-savvy and these are things we like, wee.

Now let's get to the good stuff. You're going to need:

1 X frame,of any kind, without glass, ideally.

1 X black spray paint

1 X your favourite quote (um yeah)

1. Lets keep it neat and tidy, lay down news papers to prevent spray marks

2. Separate the frame from the backing

3. Make sure the surfaces are clean and bone dry

4. Spray, let dry and spray again. You want the backing to be as black as a Nigerian with a sunburn.

5. Once fully dry, put the frame back together. Grab some chalk and get inspired.

OK, one last time, because the first time was kinda of fun. Altogether now... "Ooh La La!" Or for the Tannies is in the cheap seats... "Maar dis baie mooi!"