Monday, March 7, 2011

Girly Tip #4 DON'T MEET THE PARENTS

Tricky. If I could give you any advise in life, really, it's this: Don't meet in the parents. That and always, ALWAYS make sure you never leave your short and curly's on someone else's soap (not that I do that... obviously).

The thing with meeting the parents is that it's not a disaster the first time, it's the second, third and fourth that does it and leaves you on the outside of the inside (like everyone having a party at your house and you're not really invited, your lurking somewhere outside, in the rain-scrap that-hail). Face it You WILL NEVER be good enough for their son, especially if they only have one, it's not natural and if you're brave enough to venture forth (kudos to you), this is what might happen:

1. Before the "much anticipated visit", there will be a lot of pressure, naturally. You will be stressed out beyond comprehension and there will be stern warnings "Don't f*** it up, don't create drama..." Sadly this only compacts issues.
2. You will be judged
3. No one will take your side on any topic, any discussion, EVER, not even your bf and if he disagrees with you on something, trust that his parents will take his side, rendering you an outcast for life
4. Expect awkward silences
5. Expect excessive smiling
6. Expect to be expected to be prefect and don't be surprised when you get reprimanded because you're not, after all you are not human, you're just a girlfriend
7. Expect that no matter how hard you try you will never be good enough in their eyes
8. Stop hoping that they will like you, they will ONLY like you if you're related to the Queen or if you played tennis and your parent's had a country house somewhere ridiculous like, I don't know, the Hamptons
9. After said visit, expect to feel completely inadequate and yes sometimes even...
10. Single.

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