Uncomfortable...

This happened yesterday. I went to the doctor because I have a really sore throat. Only it's not flu-sore, it's sore-sore. It's also only on the right hand side, wow weird. And there might be some good advise in here somewhere... Anyway I'm just going to repeat what was said.

P.S. The Doctor looked a bit like this guy (see above)

Doctor: Hello.

Maisha: Hi.

Doctor: How are you?

Maisha: I'm fine thanks, well since the last time you saw me, I'm fine.

Doctor: Yes -looks at file- that was in 2009?

Maisha: Yes.

Doctor: Yes.

Maisha: So.

Doctor: Where are you staying now?

Maisha: In plett, I moved down from Cape Town.

Doctor: Oh you're in Cape Town?

Maisha: No.

Doctor: Ok where then?

Maisha: In Plett, I live with my parents.

Doctor: That's nice.

Maisha: Yes.

Doctor: So what is wrong with you?
Maisha: I have a sore throat, only it's JUST the right side and it only hurts when I swallow and it hurts in my ear, but it's not flu-sore, it's just sore-sore, only it's not sore now because this morning I woke up really early and went to the pharmacy to get a decent painkiller, which I took about thirty minutes ago. Previously I had taken Panado, but it doesn't really work. It's not really the GP's choice is it?

Doctor: No.

Maisha: Thought so.

Doctor: -does usual check, looks down throat-You have an ulcer.

Maisha: Gross.

Doctor: Yes. It is quite.

Maisha: Yes.

Doctor: It's really big and it's all the way at the back of your throat at the very base of your tongue, it's why your tonsil and glands are swollen.

Maisha: Oh.

Doctor: Yes.

Maisha: How do you get an ulcer there?

Doctor: Well you get them from smoking?

Maisha: I don't smoke.

Doctor: From having a weak immune system.

Maisha: I have a strong immune system.

Doctor: From drinking very hot beverages?

Maisha: I don't drink hot beverages, they burn my tongue and I don't like that.

Doctor: You might have been scratched by a fish bone?

Maisha: I don't eat fish.

Doctor: Well you should it's good for you.

Maisha Ok I will

Doctor: Good.

Maisha: But what do you think it could be from?

Doctor: Well what else have you been putting in your mouth?
Maisha: 😳 

Girly Tip #2

Never double wax your top lip.

Ok granted some girls don't wax at all and that's cool, if your man friend's into mustaches (see image to your left). I am not judging you. Each to their own. However, if you think like me then, body hair is a no no, unless its located on the top of your head or above the eyes (see Girly Tip #1). 

Deep Breath.

I wax my top lip because I can't afford laser, I shaved my own arms, remember! And I have had the misfortune of double waxing. i.e: applying the 'innocent' looking wax strip to the skin, pulling off against the grain and then reapplying to the same area. I am sure that somewhere it states, clearly, that this is a bad idea. Obviously I missed this. Why? Because:

1. I removed a few layers of skin from my face, which I don't notice at first, in fact I don't notice at all really, until someone pointed this out. Now if this happened to you, you'd understand that this person is generally the last person you'd want to see you with a self inflicted rash on your top lip. Who? I don't know, maybe SOMEONE LIKE YOUR BOYFRIEND! And this generally happens with a furrowing of the eyebrows and some very uncomfortable staring, then he says: What the fucks wrong with your face. And yes, this often happens at dinner. Oh my sainted uncle.

2. It does not and I repeat DOES NOT go away quickly and no amount of concealer does an adequate job of hiding it. No matter what you do, it looks like your face had an altercation with the floor. Face = 0 Floor/Sandpaper = 1

3. After the redness subsides, about 2/3 days, your skins peels. This goes down a treat first thing in the morning when your guy sees you before you've had time to see yourself (and fix the leprosy located on your lip).

4. This post doesn't even need a four. And you thought sunburn was bad...

Like a G-what?

Lyrics to Like A G6 :

(feat. The Cataracs & Dev) Who the hell calls themselves cataracs, it isn't even a real word

Hook
Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard -How do you pop bottles in ice, are you in the ice when you 'pop' em or is the ice used as some sort of rudimentary bottle opener?
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard -What the fuck is slizzard? Did these people get an education?
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6 -WHAT! Sizzurp-Oh Lordy have mercy!!!
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6 -I actually asked what this was and someone said it's a jet, a G6, okie dokie then
Like a G6, Like a G6 -Uh huh = l
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6 -Sure...

Verse 1

Gimme that Mo-Moet
Gimme that Cry-Crystal -The stutter was an unfortunate side effect of to-too much sizzurp
Ladies love my style, at my table gettin wild -Yes because they are whores and you paid them
Get them bottles poppin, we get that drip and that drop -What is dripping and dropping, oh I see, clever. What else rhymes with stop that only has one syllable. Stop, drop, pop, bop? It gets tough with big words huh, shame
Now give me 2 more bottles cuz you know it don’t stop -I can only draw conclusions here. a) You have a drinking problem b) You drink to feel justified in being stupid. c) You drink in order to suppress your emotions, I don't know maybe you were abused as a child. Maybe other kids teased you about your spelling (or your stutter).

(808) Hell Yeaa
Drink it up, drink-drink it up, -You should really talk to someone about this
When sober girls around me, they be actin like they drunk -Um ok, awkward...
They be actin like they drunk, actin-actin like they drunk
When sober girls around me actin-actin like they drunk

This just carries on some more but in repetition. Tragic.

The lyrics are so bad I feel like getting driven over by a G6

By a G6, by a G6

You'd better learn your abc's because you sadly got no tricks

Where my dictionary at. Yo thesaurus check this shit out...

Peace.

P.S. High five Terrence for decoding the Far East Movement:

1. Sizzurp is a syrup made from moonshine-in the ghettos in the south.
2. Three 6 refers to a rap group called 3 6 mafia also in the south

3. Lasttly G6 is a private long distance jet, but the one they have in the music video is a G4-ha ha ha

(I feel really, really white now)

Girly Tip #1

Never shave the hair off of your arms, because:

1. It takes ages to grow back (2 months in my case)

2. The hair will most likely grow back darker (mine is a lot darker and longer-gross-nearer to my elbow)

3. If your hair is naturally dark (like mine aargh), it looks like you've done something to your arms, kinda like shaving your eyebrows off, you simply KNOW something isn't right.

4. As it grows back it's shorts and it sticks straight up, like an erection. And this, my friends, lends itself to explanation. "Yes my arm hair does look a little weird, it's not a genetically stunted hair, I shaved my arms." To which the reply is always. "Why?" And I have yet to come up with a quantifiable answer that doesn't make me sound like I care to much about my appearance.

So take it from me-not a good idea, leave it alone or get it lasered.

= y